EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

The emotions of man are intricately connected with his will and his thoughts. Indeed, they are so closely knit that the “division of soul (emotions and thoughts) and spirit” is only possible by the word of God; Truth! So says the Gospel.

The core lesson for us is this: You are not your feelings or the thoughts that flow in the ether. Let Truth under-gird who you are, and not your feelings or fleeting thoughts. 

In this ‘evil age’, we tend to internalize the externals. Life has been reduced to the material, so our moods swing like a yo-yo. Buoyant when we have stuff and deflated when we don’t. Even for stuff that we do not really need. These mood swings only build stress within, which is harmful to both body and productivity.

Your well being, spiritual, emotional and physical, all start from this one rule:

“Be anxious for nothing… ” Gospel

Stress from anxiety is the leading cause of illnesses. So we are now told. But over 3000 years ago, Aryuvedic sages discovered this powerful link between the mind and body. The ‘mind’ (thoughts and emotions) is powerful and controls the body. That is the basis of Ayurverdic medicine or Ayurveda, which is translated literally as ‘the wisdom of life’. 

Until recently, this knowledge of the connection between our emotions and productivity was at best vague. But numerous studies have concluded that our emotions have a great influence on our total well-being and productivity. 

The emotions of love, joy, gratitude have very positive effects on our physical well-being and also on our outputs in life. While fear, anxiety and worry have the opposite effect.

The Torah enjoins us to serve God with ‘gladness of heart’;  and the Gospel instructs us to ‘rejoice always’ for a reason: 

God loves us and has given us “all things richly to enjoy”. Gospel

The truly important ‘things’ our ours already; air to breath, earth to give increase to our seeds and life itself. But we destroy them, and ourselves by our lusts: ‘the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life’, as the Gospel puts it.  

When we see righteously, ‘as we ought to’, with insight, and recall the goodness of God, then we can be joyful, rather than stressful.

And “a joyful heart is good medicine”    

Joy and peace  are attributes of the Kingdom of God. They come with the Truth package!

“The Kingdom of God is not meat and drink… but righteousness (Truth), peace and joy… ” Gospel

The Truth of God for us is the Blessing. This truth creates confidence and courage within. These in turn, enable us to ‘look’ for and to ‘see’ the good rather than the bad in life.

For, “what we see depends mainly on what we look for.”  Sir John Lubbock

That is strange but true.  We ‘see’ more of whatever we are looking for. Look for good and you will see more of good. Look for bad and you will see more of bad. 

Similarly, emotions, like thoughts, have a way of attracting their kind and repelling opposites in the ‘energy field’. That is the law of attraction. You attract your kind. Feel blue and you attract the blues. 

And a smile nearly always will invite a corresponding smile from the ‘other’. A frown, on the other hand, repels. People are generally attracted to happy, boisterous people and repelled by grouchy whiners. 

Because we are emotional beings, in contact with different other beings and thus different ‘energy fields’, the Hebrew language has no singular form for face, rather it uses the plural, faces. 

It is not hypocrisy when we relate differently to different people. We are all in ‘hiding’ and relate with the ‘other’ based on the externals, and as our relationships permit. 

But how did we get to this point of ‘hiding’ from self and one another. Why do we have this inexplicable guilt and fear in the inner man. Why do we feel emotionally vulnerable and in ‘hiding’; from God, from self and from our fellow man. The degrees may vary but these hold true for us all. Why?

The Torah gives us a context for this. As de jure ‘gods’ over the earth, Adam and Eve had a great relationship with God, ‘the God of gods’; before the fall. 

But sin, error borne of mistrust, damaged that relationship. When God ‘came down in the cool of the evening’ and asked, “Where are you?”, Adam responded:

“I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.”

Ever since, man has been in fear, and longing for acceptance; from God and his fellow man, irrespective of the material status. In a word, we are all longing for love! We are longing for God, who is Love!!

Man is ‘naked’, empty is the word, without love!  But we cloak our ‘nakedness’, even as Adam and Eve did, with the ‘fig leaves’ of material possessions and the unending pursuit of esteem. 

Obviously, material and esteem ‘leaves’ are insufficient to cover this emptiness. The rich and famous inexplicably are still vulnerable to this ‘nakedness’; low self-esteem and a craving for recognition! They still suffer from the effects of the fall; the shame of the ‘hidden man’. 

Adam’s sin is the root of this ‘shame’ that we all feel. The meaning of the root word for shame is, ‘to cover’. The resplendent glory of God on man has been covered, in shame, by sin; Adam’s error of choice.

Only the love of God and His glory on us can take away our shame. Nothing else will do. It is helpful to remember these truths as we seek to practice love’s greatest creed, also known as the Golden Rule:

‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’

We should know that we are all God’s beloved children, created in His “image and after (His) likeness”. But we all have ‘fallen’ vicariously, through Adam’s sin/error, and we all long for God’s love and acceptance. 

In spite of our error, God still loves mankind. You need to know, and to believe the love that God has for you personally. 

“For God so loved the world… “

When you know that you too are loved, then you will be empowered to love your fellow man. No one can give what he does not have.

Unfortunately, we seek love from our fellow man, who is himself in search for love. Many have been manipulated, used and abused in life, as a result. Because man relates with the ‘other’/’others’ in this life, more from lust than from love. 

We seek to take rather than to give. So, we relate more on the basis of what people are than on who they are. Consequently, the love of man is at best conditional. 

Man, natural man, is not lovely or loving but self seeking.

God alone loves us unconditionally, not because we are lovely, but because of who He is; ‘altogether lovely’, as a song puts it.

God is the embodiment of love and has not the need to manipulate us, so, He alone can quench our thirst for love. 

The love of God for mankind is a central message of Truth, as revealed by Jesus Christ. The least we can do is to treat one another with this understanding. 

We must strive to ‘accept’ one another irrespective of our differences. In other words, we must value self and one another, because God values us.

That does not, of course make everybody your ‘friend’. It simply means to live and let others live too, even if they don’t look like, or think like or act like you do! 

There are no guarantees that we would not offend or be offended by the ‘other’. But then again offenses are many a time the product of our imaginations. Pride, our spiritual facade, is the root of all offenses, both real and imagined!

Still, we may not control other people’s behavior but we certainly have a choice over how we behave or respond to the ‘other’.

The bottom line is that we really have no business with shame. We are bigger than our ‘problems’. For our Maker is a forgiving Father who wants it to be well with us all. Yes, everyone is important to Him!!! 

You must know and believe this Truth. It is vital to your well-being. God is not against you but for you. Do not run from the One who alone can truly help you!

And remember that it is okay that you are not ‘perfect’. No one is really. We are all on our personal ‘learning curves’. So, learn to laugh at yourself rather than seek succor in pursuits that would do you more harm; drugs, illicit sex, alcohol, the occult etc.

Choose rather to see the unconditional love of God for you and for all mankind. Then you will begin to see more positives and less of the inevitable negatives. And you will learn to bear with one another.

For ‘the wisdom of a man teaches him patience. It is to his glory to overlook an offense.’

Your ability to FORGIVE; others as well as yourself, is the very heart of emotional intelligence.

That is Solomonic wisdom. Besides, unforgiveness is more harmful to you; emotions, body and productivity. 

You can live with a forgiving disposition when you know the forgiveness of God; for you, and for the ‘other’. For we all have missed it with Him.

When this truth under girds your life, then can you…

“In all things give thanks, for this is the will of God for you…” Gospel